You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
