Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Randomize
