I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
