No stitches, just platelets and will power
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
