Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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