I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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