we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He did a backflip because drugs
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
