it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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