it wasn't lemon gatorade
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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