you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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