I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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