She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
