my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
