I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
