What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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