"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
