Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
