Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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