So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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