love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
