Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
