I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
