what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
