If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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