was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
