I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
