i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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