If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
