there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
