I hope mine doesn't look like that
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
