she takes plan B like it's going out of style
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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