Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so let's talk penis.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
