Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
