If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
