How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
