But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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