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I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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