Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
