if i can run in heels then i can drive
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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