I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
