Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
