i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
