I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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