There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
