We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Randomize
