Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
