lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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