I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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