Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
