my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
