I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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