thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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